Updated: 6 days ago
My account's ability is based on my level of accountability.
Did you catch that wordplay?
The answer remains the same when people ask me how my wife and I have gradually built up our faith, relationship, children, savings, and investments over the years. We've accepted that to be our very best in various domains of our life, we've had to admit that we need to clearly communicate our expectations of one another, respect one another's perspectives, find common ground, and be open to being held accountable to the arrangement(s) we've set.
Now, I completely get that, for many, there is nothing sexy about the word "accountable." It just isn't ... sexy ... at ... all. Per the Merriam-Webster dictionary, being accountable requires one to be willing to give an account of their actions. For instance:
"Bae, where you at?"
"What you gettin' from Target? We ain't got no Target money."
"Nothin. I'm just lookin' around."
To some, that exchange sounds a lot like misery - LOL!
You can't do whatever you want or feel like doing whenever you want or feel like doing it. And, if you do something that was not agreed upon, you gotta explain WHY. My single folks are thinking that's precisely WHY I'm not in a relationship. It feels kinda oppressive - not liberating.
Trust me. I get it. We were there too - my wife and I. However, throughout our relationship, nearly 18 years, we've found the opposite to be true. When my wife and I lack financial discipline and are slipping on our responsibility to hold each other accountable, we have less - not more. When we do what we know is wise - holding each other accountable to the plan - we get everything we want as a couple, individuals, and then some.
It's counterintuitive - I know. Regardless, freedom comes from having the capacity to self-regulate. Freedom is not the absence of self-regulation. I don't care how many songs, videos, or movies you watch about someone being able to ball out of control without consequence; freedom without self-regulation is bondage.
You might be able to get what you want or feel like having today. But, bit by bit, doing so might be limiting your capacity to have the option to do the things you might want in the future. It's even worse for couples. Nobody wants to be in a relationship that feels stagnant - that isn't growing. It ultimately leads to resentment. Both partners start to feel as if their needs aren't being met. And you and I both know how that story ends.
You, however, can have a different story if you are willing to embrace financial accountability. In fact, depending on how old you are, you might have the luxury of embracing this concept years before I did. And, in doing so, you'll have the luxury of giving your relationship and money more time to grow - exponentially.
Just don't forget on your journey to wealth and riches that your account's ability will always be dependent upon your level of accountability.
Until next time, you have more power than you think. Own it!
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